20 February 2009

Being sick sucks weenie.

Ok so Kacey has been BUGGIN' for me to update... LOL jk.  Anyway here goes.

For those of you who weren't privy to my current health state, I have been DYING with the flu/bronchitis I dunno something awful for the past 3 days.  I think I'm finally getting better after missing a week of school (sounds like a lot but its only 2 days) and just staying in bed and sleeping the day away.  My mom's chicken soup has been my only source of food, well, and the chocolate I kept sneaking into my bed... I think that was a mistake because the milk probably didn't help with my chest congestion.  WOMP womp...

ANYWAY.

Being sick and sleeping and staring at the ceiling really makes you think.  Well, even in my sleep I couldn't escape my thoughts as they would pervade my dreams.  Why can't I even begin to get over him???  Its been what... since June that its been "officially" over?  And we are... 8 months later and still not an inch closer to moving on.

Is it because I've liked him since 6th grade??? 

I keep telling myself that it must be that.  I've liked him too long to get over him this soon.  It was a mistake to get with him in the first place.  I placed him too high on a pedestal that it would be impossible for it to work out.  Actually in my mind, I wasn't supposed to ever be with him.  It was like this dream I was always chasing that would never be.  And then, when it came true, I didn't know what to do with myself.

Anyway, maybe someday I'll BEGIN to get over him, but until then, my heart will remain a black hole.

Ugh, I hate being emo.  I was never the heartbroken type.  But then again, I was never the relationship type either.  I only ever liked one person, and now it seems I'll be scarred for life because of it.

Don't listen to my dark ramblings kids.  Be young, love and be merry.  Don't be like me all curled up in bed moping and wishing "what if" and "if only" its a sad existence trust me.

Happy Friday people.

4 comments:

  1. Hey, I hope you get better soon. Yes getting over someone...Does suck! But remember that you have someone much greater that loves you and will never break your heart. Hold onto that! Your heart will begin to mend again my lil cuz. Now get better. Did you ever get your Belated Bday gift at Auntie chacha's. If not it's there waiting. So get better already. Lots of vitamin C and tons and tons of water. No more chocolate...ehhh a lil chocolate never hurt anyone. *wink*

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  2. You are definitely right about that Corinne! Whenever I feel down about him, I listen to Pastor David's podcasts. I'm listening to them quite often these days but thats definitely helping put my heart in the right place.

    Iliana told me about the gift but I haven't been able to pick it up. Thanks in advance for the gift!!! I already feel better, how are you and the little ones?? Hopefully well. I pray for those little guys every night!

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  3. yay!! post just for me!!! hahaha

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  4. of course kacey!!!!!!!! you are like my lover remember!?

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